The Internet Parent
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Tuesday, September 05, 2006

A Prisoner of your Seductive Nectar

You're Never Too Young to be an Addict...

Here's an abridged post from the K9 Web Protection Users Forum that I felt might be illuminating to share. The writer, a kid, entitled it "A Prisoner of your Seductive Nectar".

Parents, you are not alone in facing these kinds of frightening challenges. Kids, if your parents are showing you this, you are not alone either.

We don't have a Surgeon General's warning on porn like we do on cigarettes.

But we should.

So my Mom absolutely loves your program. She actually can keep control of me now!

So, yeah, I used to be a very avid viewer of Pornography, and I'm not embarassed about it either. 90% of all males masturbate...But I can't see the harm in visual aid, rather than imagination? I think people [complain about] sex so much in the Media. That makes the problem worse. It makes sex taboo. It makes it a forbidden fruit.

Now that Pornography has been taken away from me. I want it more than ever before.

The more people hide from sex, the more Taboo it gets.

Sex is a natural thing. People fantasize all the time. It's something you really can't get around as a human being. I don't think Pornography is going to encourage them at all. Because it's already hardwired into our heads that at this point in our lives sex is a big thing. (The hormones and what-have you).

I donno where I was going with this. Probably more of a selfish joust against my keepers. But still. Censorship isn't the way of the future. Knowledge is power. When you know about something, you gain control of it.

I look at Pornography, but I also learned all about Sex in School from Sex Ed. Just like every other kid in the US. I've seen what herpes can do. All of those delightful STD's. As do many other kids.

I don't think Pornography is going to really effect people's choices. If they want sex, I don't think Pornography really makes a difference.

Goodness I've gotten a little carried away. How many times can I rephrase the same point? (*Laughing*)

I'm curious as to your replies.

My reply:
You're right about sex. It's a natural thing. And a very powerful thing.

And pornographers know just how to manipulate your sexual attention and desire. Especially if you're a teenager, just going through that "raging hormones" thing.

There's the old saying "Sex sells." Imagine how effectively "sex sells" when it's selling sex. The pornographer is hijacking the most powerful wiring you have, driving your brain to produce chemicals that push you into a cycle of craving and satisfaction over and over again.

You say,
"Now that Pornography has been taken away from me. I want it more than ever before."

And then you say

"Knowledge is power. When you know about something, you gain control of it."

It sounds more like you've lost control than gained control. Your desire has increased. Like a junkie who needs a fix.

The knowledge you need is that the pornographers are manipulating you! And that it's possible that you have become addicted to the natural high you get from viewing it. Nature doesn't deliver the kind of intense stimulation, the kind of potent high that you get from Internet porn, from a real sexual relationship, because real sex with a real person in a real relationship takes a lot more work than just clicking and surfing and fantasizing. So you're chain is being yanked, your wires are being crossed, and the folks who are doing it aren't in it for your benefit. They're in it for the money. If they can get you hooked early, they will.

You say,

"I don't think Pornography is going to really effect people's choices. If they want sex, I don't think Pornography really makes a difference."

Can't you see that it already has? It's already twisted and pushed you and countless others into behaviors and cravings that for many have escalated beyond an occasional indulgence, beyond a hobby, into a compulsion and an obsession? Why are you still hunting for porn? Why is your craving stronger than ever? Because, perhaps, you've become addicted. Have you noticed that it's hard to get the images out of your head? That even when you don't want to think about it, you still do?

That's one of the reasons parents try to keep their kids away from porn. Sex ed is nothing like porn. Intimate relationships that include sex are nothing like porn. Porn is about whipping you up, and calling you back again and again.

K9 isn't about making sex taboo. We've just recognized how addictive pornography can be, and we want to help parents keep it away from their kids, so their kids don't become victims.

Just like the tobacco industry, the porn industry knows that its product is addictive. Just like the tobacco industry, they want to get you hooked when you're young. And just like the tobacco industry, they don't really care what it does to you. They argue that "people have the right" to this kind of material. But they won't be accountable for its addicitive nature, and the social costs associated with those addictions. Why should they be, when we as a society don't demand it?

Kids, if you follow what I'm saying, and you think it might have some truth, and you want help to get "un-addicted", there are resources out there that can make a difference. It's never too late to try to overcome an addiction. Do some research. If you think you might be addicted, ask for help.

And parents, don't ignore the problem. You wouldn't just ignore it if your kid (or your neighbor's kid) was hooked on cocaine, speed, or heroin, right? This kid's on to something when he talks about sex being "taboo" -- sex and pornography as a topic for discussion among neighbors certainly is taboo. But we all owe it to our community's mental health to help raise awareness, even if it's a little uncomfortable.

Step out and get involved.


  • Very thoughtful and persuasive commentary. And you were able to make strong points without mentioning one of the leading arguments against pornography: The people in the pictures (and movies). Those people are being manipulated too. Consuming porn rewards the business owners who are exploiting the people in the images. That to me is a compelling argument against the idea that porn harms no one.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at September 08, 2006 5:11 AM  

  • Thank you for your comments. I've often said that you can look at porn as a moral issue, or as a religious issue, but you don't have to to realize that it's a problem. It's a social issue, a mental-health issue, and a child-abuse issue.

    And if you read anything about the vast majority of women in the porn industry, you'll quickly discover that many were sexually abused as children or otherwise "sexualized" very early. And that life "in the business" rips them apart.

    But we can't always do much about self-destructive behavior of adults. We can only corner the behavior in such a way that we call it what it really is, make the point that it's self destructive, raise awareness, and keep our kids away from it. Sometimes we can pass laws, but often they are poortly crafted or overly intrusive. It's a tough line to walk. As an adult, can I choose to be exploited? Certainly. Whether it's good for me or not.

    By Blogger John Carosella, at October 17, 2006 5:44 PM  

  • Pornography is not a mental healthy issue--it is a sin issue.

    Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.”

    I myself struggle not to look at women with lust, but it is still sin, whether she has her clothes on or off, whether another man is committing fornication with her (with or without her consent). God sees it all the same as adultery, and when we draw that line, we will break the grip of porn producers over us. I know it helped me.

    By Blogger JOSHUA S BLACK, at December 26, 2006 9:25 PM  

  • Hello Joshua,
    Thanks for your comment. I'm glad that your faith has helped you. There are many ways of being in the world, and I know that deep faith and trust in a higher power can make all the difference, especially in times of struggle.

    I read your August 29th blog entry. Addictions are not easy to overcome, and a porn addiction is particularly vicious because it hijacks the most powerful wiring we humans have. It's like the ultimate parasite. The most successful addiction treatment programs encourage the sufferer to call on a higher power for help.

    You seem to have a strong relationship with yours.

    Stay strong, God bless, and good luck.

    By Blogger John Carosella, at February 12, 2007 3:25 PM  

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